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I might have felt differently.I mean, this is like the girl who won't talk to you all through high school and then confesses her undying affection for you at graduation. What am I supposed to do with that? We could have had some laughs! I might have even helped with the Democrats Abroad primary vote (though I am not a Democrat or, I suppose, a broad). Sigh...
From: Barack Obama, Senator (D-IL)
To: Hillary Clinton, Senator (D-NY)
Cc: John McCain, Senator (R-AZ)
Date: June 4, 2008
Re: The whole winning/losing thing
Dear Hillary:
Fuck You. Stronger Letter To Follow.
Cordially,
Barack
and I don't mean lying down!
It is true that seven of the forty-two men to have been President have been left-handed (Garfield, Hoover, Truman, Ford, Reagan, Bush41, Clinton), and it is also true that the University of Chicago and Hyde Park/Kenwood boast a ferocious number of lefties (in both senses, I guess). However, those connections are not Senator Obama's secret weapon, despite his being a left-handed, U of C-employed Kenwood resident. Besides, Senator McCain is left-handed too.
Nope, the stone-cold lead-pipe lock, as the touts like to say, is that Obama is tall, where "tall" is defined as over six feet (Barry is 6' 1.5"). Simply put, if you're tall and from Illinois, you're President, whereas if you're not tall and from Illinois, thanks for playing. History backs me up here--Honest Abe is still the tallest Prez ever, at 6' 4" without the hat. And where did he call home? Illinois! Meanwhile, Stephen Douglas and Adlai Stevenson, the only two Illinoisans to lose Presidential elections as real-ticket nominees (poor ole' Adlai did it twice), clocked in at 5' 4" (!!!) and 5' 10". If you want the full list, you can bet some Wikipedian has provided it.
Yeah, yeah, I know Senator Clinton, unlike Obama, is actually from Illinois, but I am going with the "place of primary affiliation" angle, so HRC is from New Yarkansas and Obama is from the Land of Lincoln. Screw Wilkie, Grant, Reagan, and the other wannabes.
Full disclosure: I am short, though not Stephen Douglas-short (I'm 5' 6"). I am right-handed, but bat and play golf and racket sports (badly in all cases) from the left side. However, a preposterous percentage of my lady friends have been lefties, including--wait for it--one who was born in Kenwood... to two left-handed parents! I am also, at least until the revolution, constitutionally ineligible for the Presidency, which is good news for all of us. Finally, I am a former U of C student and employee, and a former resident of both HP and K.
